Here is what star comedian Bovi wrote on
Instagram this morning..It’s the story of
his encounter with a prostitute who
helped him out in Port Harcourt…
I had just resumed school for second
semester 300 level. This was February
2000. My mission was to storm port-
harcourt from abraka and surprise my
older sister who had just moved to
another apartment. All I had was the
address to the new apartment. I’ve always
loved to pull surprises and this was my
biggest one at the time. I arrived ph in the
evening via public transport and traced
her new place.
Me wey plan to surprise my sister con
surprise myself. She had not moved in.
Her present address, I didn’t have. Gsm;
non-existent at the time, her office?
Closed. I was practically stranded in the
garden city. After recovering from my
rude shock, I took the first 2 foolish
decisions. I hailed a cab and told the can
to take me to a happening joint. The type
that runs all night. He told me it was a
Tuesday, the happening joints really don’t
happen on Tuesday. I insisted there had
to be one.
Well he had money to make, so he
obliged me. We got there. Dead end. Even
the band members and the Dj were off
duty. We tried a second spot. No luck. By
this time it was past 9pm. So it dawned
on me that I should have been looking for
a hotel. By the time I checked 2 hotels, I
realized that had I not made wayward
stops, I’d have been able to pay for a
room. Think Bovi, think! I asked again
where I could possibly chill till daybreak.
A commercial nerve. Someone mentioned
“opposite
hotel presidential.” When I got to hotel
presidential; opposite it that is; I was
relieved.
The groove was real. Outdoor joints,
several bar tenders. Pot bellied men with
pretty women drinking away their stress. I
found my spot, got a seat, weighed my
purse and saw that my vex money had
been severely eroded. I couldn’t even
afford a drink. But hey, I could watch. The
ladies of the night were present on their
droves( soliciting customers). It was a
sight to behold. Of they got lucky, they
hopped into vehicles of strange men. I
enjoyed all I saw until it was midnight
and the unexpected happened. All d joints
started to lock up. On no time it was just
me and the night nurses left on the road
side. To be contd”
“Why you no go stay hotel” “why you no
go your sister house” “why she Neva pack
go her new house?” I had answered all
these questions repeatedly. By now I was
with the security of the hotel, begging to
share their space with them till the
earliest signs of daylight. They weren’t
comfortable with me there. They had even
suggested I go to ojuelegba, a spot on the
famous Aba road that hosted a retinue of
low class s*x workers (low in the sense
that the better s*x workers were the ones
who came opposite the hotel) I had
turned down the idea politely.
Five minutes later, a police patrol can
sailed by slowly with “victims” of their
raid of ojuelegba. I didn’t believe my luck,
assuming it was luck. Not long after, one
of the busiest girls of the night walked
into the security post. I had seen her
severally that night. She had to be the
busiest of the girls. Leave in a car, return
in okada. That happened at least 4
times.she inquired what the problem was.
For the 66th time, I narrated. She paused
for a while. I had no idea what she was
thinking. Then quietly she asked to see the
contents of my bag. Two shirts, one
trouser, soap can with blue long sponge
and body cream. And identity card. Finish!
She thought for a while again and then
made me an offer. She asked me to follow
her to her apartment. I wasn’t sure what
to do. Security didn’t want me there. From
their eyes I could tell this was my last
offer. She “napkined” on the bike ride to
her house. This was 2am. A small living
room and a room with one bed ms living
room was as small as the room. It had
no furniture. She offered me her bed and
slept on the floor. I tries to refuse but she
will have none of it. I was her guest.
I don’t know if I really slept cos my legs
remained on the floor with. Y back on d
bed. By5 am I was up. She offered me
water to shower but all I did was brush
and wash my face. Her brother came in
not long after without caring a second
who I was, he went straight to sleep. As I
made to leave, she untied an end of her
wrapper, brought out a wad of notes and
offered me 3 fifty naira notes. She bade
me farewell.Never to be seen again till
this day”
