I thought I had waited enough, so when it
was time to go for my NYSC, I made up my
mind to date any cute guy that comes my
way,afterall I was mature and ripe for marriage. Though I never believed in dating,
but so many things just appeared to be
wrong with my life, even when they were not.
I had been a virgin since birth, never dated,
this was due to what my mum taught me. Her words, ”never wake up love when it is
not time, and when it is time, don’t fall for it,
stand with your eyes open, then walk into
it.” I bounded those words to my heart all
through my university days, but as soon as it
was time for my NYSC, I felt they should be thrown away as trash.
I was now a big girl, who should be
approached for marriage. My new believe
was that, if a lady does not get her man on
camp, then she is likely going to settle a
single lady, or with any kind of man outside her desires. I was losing my faith and trust in
God, which had led me thus far, I was now
following the way of the world.
Just three days at the camp, he came to tell
me he was interested in me. His words, ”I
love the way you carry yourself, your Christianity, and simplicity. You will surely be
a wonderful wife to your husband when you
get married. So who is the lucky guy, I mean
your fiance?”
His question threw me off balance that I
didn’t know when I told him I was still single and available. Foolish me, was I supposed to
advertize my singleness and availability to a
man whom God has not revealed anything
about me to? He only admired my beauty,
liked my character and simplicity, not that he
heard from God that I was the lady for him. But I have already revealed to him how
desperate I was towards having a man in my
life.
Anything done outside the leading of the
spirit, is indeed carnal. He was handsome and
intelligent, but still he was not the right man. Did I care? Did I even seek the face of God
concerning him? I do hear from God quite
alright, but I was desperate to have a ”Him”
by my side.
When he heard my reply about being single
and available, that day he began his chase after me. Like a He-goat, he kept coming, and
like a She-goat on heat period, I gave him a
try. The door of my heart opened, and then
we began dating. My emotions and feelings
clouded my spiritual eyes and ear, that all I
see in my dreams was his image and his voice. On one ocassion, I saw both of us
purchasing wedding gown and other wedding
items. All that made me to believe I was
already in the will of God concerning a life
partner.
So my feelings and love for him increased, I was now visiting uncontrollably, and was hanging out with him. Hmm, the devil must
have said, ”the ‘all her life virgin’ has found a
lover, let’s see how she will control herself.”
Was it easy? Could my legs still be crossed? I
was losing my mind, and the urge for sex
would not spare me. Day by day, this urge increased, it was burning like fire. I wish
water could quench it… No way, it was
beyond a physical fire.
Then that night came, the night of becoming
one flesh. It was his saliva into my saliva, his
body into my body, and his blood into my blood. I was deflowered, my twenty-six
years of virginity gone in five minutes. Did I
plan to break it that way? Without walking
down the aisle? I was ashamed of myself,
naked before a man who has not visited my
parents, let alone pay my dowry. ”Is this me?” I asked myself. ”What went wrong?”
Uncontrolled tears quietly escaped from my
eyes.
When he stool up to dress up, a shining object
mistakenly left the pocket of his trouser, and
made its way to the ground. When I glanced at it, I was shocked to discover the obvious,
it was his wedding ring. ”Are you married?” I
quickly asked. He didn’t say a word, he only
nodded, thereafter, he appologized and left
the room as if nothing happened.
Picking up my dress was something I found difficult to do, until I heard a voice, ”Come de
go make I arrrange my room,” the voice of
the owner of the room whom he paid just to
exploit me. Hmm, my dignity was buried
alive. Before the stranger, I dressed up, still
thinking he was outside, I came out, but he was no where to be found. Since I left camp, I
have never set my eyes on him, who even
know if he was a true corper.
All my dreams and revelations were mere
imaginations. I threw away my mother’s
advice and the grace of God that kept me all through my campus years only to get all that,
now in tears I’m picking them up after the
mistake has been made….
Dear corper and readers, are you also going
to make such mistake? The grace of God and
the godly counsel that has kept you going, will you treat them like trash, even at this
point of your youth service? Many sisters and
brothers get defiled at camp, they lost their
self control immediately they see someone
who is likely to be their life partner.
Why will it be said that it was during your NYSC you got defiled? You whose orientation
is begining to change simply because you
enter a new environment, watch yourself
very well. You mustn’t meet your life
partner at the camp or in a new
environment. If you do, pray down the will of God concerning it, before accepting the
proposal. You mustn’t date to know him/her
better, if you do, your emotions and feelings
towards them are likely to cloud your mind,
and this will make it difficult for you to hear
from God. God still speaks to us, He is ever interested
and more interested in our marriage than we
are or think. Put Him first, and you will be
glad you did.
